Tips from the expert of the international network of the training center "SEKS.RF" Ekaterina Lyubimova
A woman and a man meet and enter into a relationship in order to give each other joy. Tenderness, attention, good sex, caring - we all get something from a loved one. Relationships are changing our lives for the better. Otherwise, mutual obligations do not make sense. Pain and devastation are sure signs that things are going wrong between you. Most likely, with this person you are not on the way. There are several options for getting out of a situation that destroys you.
1. You still love him. Despite the pain and resentment, this man is still dear to you, and the hope that everything will change stubbornly warms. As long as you comfort yourself with hopes, the situation will not get better. If such a chance even exists in reality, it must be correctly realized. The reproaches have already been tried by you and have not worked. You need to collect your thoughts and talk with your loved one about your decision to leave. He must believe it.
Explain to him that you love him very much and have experienced happy moments with him, but now your relationship does not deliver anything but pain and tears. Without falling into accusations, describe what exactly does not suit you and what changes you would like (I don’t like that you drink beer in the evenings with friends, and we only go out together in the evening once a week. I would like that was at least three times a week). Say that you respect his right to live the way he wants, but you also have the right to be happy. Therefore, if what he does is impossible to change, then you decide to get out of such a relationship.
Believe me, this approach will pay off. A woman who knows how to politely but firmly state her needs cannot call anything but respect. He may reconsider his attitude towards you, or it may be too late to change something. Then you need to put an end, as promised. But then your relationship will end beautifully and with dignity, freeing you from pain.
2. You get confused and just go with the flownot daring to break off the relationship. Before moving on, think about what you really want. So that there was an attentive and caring man nearby, or was it this man who is now, but attentive and caring? If the second, then you need to talk.
To do this, arrange a romantic dinner at home and seduce. Sexy lingerie, lubricants and erotic toys to help you. After you both enjoy the intimacy, from afar touch on a topic that bothers you. Remember how beautiful and romantic everything was between you at the very beginning. Describe your experiences before dating him. Let him share his memories with you too.
Then tell him that now this relationship does not give you any joy, one disappointment, and that you ask yourself why all this to continue. Ask your man what he thinks about this and why he does what hurts you.
Perhaps he will be surprised that everything is so bad in your eyes. Explain why it hurts and what you would like to change between you. Do not be surprised that he may also have his “claims” to you. The main thing is not to surrender to emotions and desire to mess up. Perhaps, as a result of this conversation, you decide to “start over”, realizing your mistakes. If not, then you will peacefully disperse, freeing each other and maintaining a good relationship.
3. You already want nothing from this man, and perhaps even hate him. Bear with pain because you are used to the role of the victim. If your case belongs to the latter category, you should go to a psychologist. It will help you better understand the reasons why you find yourself in this position. It’s not the man's fault that you like to endure pain and be unhappy. You yourself choose this path for yourself. But you can also refuse it.
Think about why you need this relationship. What joy they bring to you. Material benefits are not considered. If nothing comes to mind - time to make decisions. Let the picture of your desired future help you - a caring husband, children, a cozy home. This is all real for each of us, you just need to decide on a change.
Tell the man that you have made a firm decision to break up, explain the reasons and say that the decision is final. Chop off the ends resolutely. Do not let persuasion and declarations of love confuse you, in no case do not have sex with him! Where there is love, there is no place for pain, unless you are an adherent of “hard” caresses. Do not indulge in accusations, even if the partner begins to throw reproaches. Leave as soon as you inform your partner about your decision and its reasons. A new life awaits you.
No matter which man you choose later, remember that his attitude towards you will be based on how you yourself allow him to treat you. Self-esteem and the once made decision that you will never tolerate resentment and bullying can radically change your fate.
Hirst Shkulev Publishing
Moscow, st. Shabolovka, house 31b, 6th entrance (entrance from Horse Lane)
How to part with a loved one?
Breaking relationships when love has not left your heart is far from easy. Moreover, this is a rather painful process. But if you are sure it will be better, focus on the future and show your determination.
Make a list of all the reasons that led to the decision to leave. Make sure that the negative aspects exceed the positive aspects of your relationship, and you just need to take a break.
Make an appointment. Despite the fact that you may be tempted to get off easily by sending a farewell message or e-mail, you must inform your partner about your decision personally, looking in the eye.
Do not blame the man during the announcement of his decision to break with him. Let him keep his dignity, it will be better for both of you. Thank him for the good times you had and speak directly, without hesitation. Let the guy know that your decision is final and you are not going to change it.
Do not let warm memories keep you from breaking up. To make sure once again that your relationship is no longer viable, take the list of reasons you wrote earlier and re-read it.
You will be nervous and doubtful, but this is normal. Try to express your emotional turmoil in writing, you can even write a letter to your partner - without sending it. Psychologists argue that this method helps to calm and gather thoughts.
Even if breaking up is your initiative, you will have a “breakup." You will need some time to mourn the bright future that you believed in, being with this man.
Do not sit at home alone and do not focus on the past. You need some time to start a new relationship, but this does not mean that you need to avoid men. On the contrary, do not be afraid to make new friends.
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And in addition to the above, we suggest finding out how to find the strength to part with a man. Do not miss the interesting video below!
2. Fade out gradually
Fading out is something as cruel as a ghost. And this is still a very passive approach to breaking. When you feel that there are problems in a relationship, talk about them.
If you are going to break up with a man, at least be honest. No need to patronize a man, while deceiving him. Recognize that he is a person who is able to cope with the upcoming gap.
5. Start a romance on the side
If you want to part with a man, break up with him. Talk to him about your feelings and disappointments. Do not be a coward, choosing an easy way out of the situation. No need to resort to intrigue on the side with another man in order to deliberately sabotage the relationship. In addition to breaking, your parallel hobby can add even more emotional trauma to the partner you are throwing.