Psychologists have long noticed that to win over a person is simple, if you follow three simple rules. The order is simple: a sincere smile - the name of the interlocutor - recognition of its significance. The use of this triad will allow the support of anyone. But what about something more? She will also help establish a trusting, open relationship. Being in them, you can share with your interlocutor your thoughts, feelings, beliefs. And at the same time remain yourself! This is real if you know the 10 basic rules of communication.
2. Do not require understanding
No matter how correctly you think, another person can think differently. After all, he proceeds from his level of development and intelligence. We all experienced different experiences, were brought up in different families. And therefore, we have a different level of self-awareness, and this determines the opposite of views, thoughts and actions. So if you want to establish trust, do not impose your vision of the situation on a person. Be flexible!
3. Consider the circumstances
We can forgive ourselves the bad mood, aggressive attacks and intolerance against strangers. But we despise other people for exactly the same behavior. Here it is, a policy of double standards! But all that’s needed is to try to enter a person’s position, to understand his situation. Perhaps he is inhospitable because he is tired, worried about something, tormented by a headache? Do not be rude in response and do not rush to hang tags on a person. On the contrary, show a drop of participation.
4. Get rid of criticism
Do you really think that you can establish a trusting relationship by pouring negativity on the person’s head? What are you doing this? It is unlikely that he will immediately run to correct mistakes. Rather, it will penetrate you with irritation, begin to get nervous, angry, defend itself. You beat a man at the most sick - his pride. And this does not pass without a trace. Learn to control your words, not to criticize a person, but actions. Not “you are stupid and unreliable,” but “by your decision you offended me.”
5. Refuse disputes
By actively imposing our opinions on others, we achieve the exact opposite effect. So the opponent only strengthens his point of view even more. Not because he is a limited or stubborn turkey. It’s just how the psyche works - to defend our beliefs, to uphold life experience. The only way to get a winner is not to start a dispute at all. And if you started, try to maintain respect for the enemy. And look for what unites you: “You are right in this thought, but I would like to note other observations ...”
6. Speak softly
There is another mistake made by many people that will not allow us to turn neutral relationships into trusting ones. It is a habit to communicate in an orderly tone that does not tolerate objection. Or to teach an interlocutor, putting an adult in the position of an unintelligent child. Of course, this manner of communication does not cause anything but internal resistance. Instead of orders and moralizing, you need to learn to speak in a friendly and calm manner, in a soft, trusting voice. Do not demand, but ask. And do not order, but offer. Above all, don’t get angry, but advise and ask leading questions. As a result, this will be much more useful!
7. Do not accumulate grievances
The problem with many people is that they cannot forgive others for their blunders and weaknesses. If a person is hurt by something or does not please, they will be required to submit a claim. And then they write down the insult on a personal account. But such tactics fail and makes you one unhappy. Learn to forgive, let others not live up to your expectations. This is especially true of the topic of parent-child relationships.
8. Do not impose your picture of the world
Trust relationships are built on understanding and acceptance. Yes, you can have a rich past, a lot of experience and useful discoveries. But this is not a reason to climb into the alien world with your charter. Stop being so selfish about communication. Moreover, do not impose on others your past, your vision of the situation or your problems. Remember, you are not alone! So show interest in the interlocutor, in his picture of the world, values, hobbies. Talk about what's interesting to everyone, not just you alone. If you always be the center of the world, contact will not work. Learn to share attention and respect all those present.
9. Share responsibility
When something good happens, we all want to be the reason. But the troubles are more interesting to pass on to others, in every possible way neglecting their participation in the failed business. In order not to lose the disposition of people, learn to admit your mistakes, take responsibility for what happened. Such tactics not only disarms opponents. It also makes them feel sympathy for you, removing all guilt.
10. Focus on virtues
The best way to establish trust is to be the first to admit to a person his admiration. In each of us there is a focus of something good, it is important to see it in time and not be silent. Praise a person for his manners, ability to keep himself in a difficult situation. And also for achievements in some business, or even just a wonderful sense of style. If there is no merit, find what you like the most. Or what I would like to see in a partner. In the end, he will certainly set out to justify your kind words.
Compliments create a good mood, this is a great way to make an acquaintance. The main thing is to be sincere and speak with a sincere heart. Do you agree with our rules or want to add something?
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