To be happy is the goal we all want to achieve, but we all have different ideas on how to become a happy person. It is easy to think about happiness, but to be happy and feel like that is not always possible.
What can and should be done to become a cheerful and beloved woman or a happy and successful man? You can become happy even at 30, 40, 50 years, if you know what happiness depends on.
Sometimes circumstances may not be the most favorable in order to feel good. However, there are certain actions that we can put into practice in order to improve our attitude towards life.
In this article you will find 19 small actions that will help you to be happier and feel good every day, especially women. Start remodeling your attitude to happiness today!
What do some people think about becoming a happy person
Some consider this a selfish goal. This happens if you connect the feeling of happiness with pure hedonism, and strive for pleasure at all costs, not paying attention to others. Although there is no happiness without pleasure, it is more than just a pleasant experience.
Others believe that they cannot be happy. These people say this: “Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you try to catch it, the more it eludes you. But if you turn your attention to something else, it will fly in and sit on your shoulder. ”
Studies prove that the feeling of happiness does not appear in our lives by chance. This is the result of striving for a goal and conscious choice.
Still others may argue that striving to be happy is a trivial goal. However, we all associate the experience of happiness with goals that are desirable for everyone - longevity, good health, creativity and relationships with people.
Let's face it, most of us agree with the Dalai Lama: "The purpose of our life is to be happy."
Of course, the decision “I want to be happy” is too vague to contain a concrete plan of action. Therefore, we need specific solutions that will allow us to achieve success faster in our intention to achieve this positive state.
(By the way, I advise you to read proverbs about happiness and how to become happy, from them you can learn a lot of positive thoughts).
What is happiness
Many define a state of happiness as a combination of pleasure and a meaningful goal. The goal implies the presence of high motives, which are determined by your personal values. Pleasure - these are actions that bring you a sense of joy and positive feelings at the moment.
There is a third component of happiness - pride. Pride determines how a person evaluates his life as a whole, how satisfied he is with his achievements and the place he occupies in life.
What determines your happiness?
50% of happiness is determined by the characteristics of your personality, which are largely inherited. The other 50% of how to be happy are determined by factors that you control: your health, your career, your relationships or interests, and what you pursue.
That is why, if you feel miserable, you have the opportunity to change this in your hands.
Now that we have identified the three components of happiness, let's talk about what actions we can take to become happier?
19 decisions to become a happy person
Listed below are 19 specific solutions, but, of course, their number can be infinite. Do not be afraid to come up with your own solutions based on your knowledge of yourself and your needs.
But remember that effective goals must be consistent with SMART principles, that is, they must be specific, meaningful, action-oriented, realistic and time-limited.
You can adapt the proposed solutions so that they better match the characteristics of your personality and your lifestyle.
These decisions increase the level of happiness, creating a meaningful life, in harmony with their values and strengths of the individual.
- “I will turn to a career consultant.” If your work does not satisfy you, you need to clarify your purpose. A career coach will help fill your current occupation with meaning or find a more suitable job.
- "I'll start a diary." Coaches recommend keeping a "diary of one phrase." Write down one sentence every day about an event that allowed you to take a fresh look at your goals in life or accelerated your progress on how to become happy?
- “I will definitely defend myself if I hear derogatory or offensive comments addressed to me.” This goal is a difficult challenge! You may need to rehearse what you want to say in advance.
- “I will make my marriage (or meaningful relationship) more loving and harmonious. For this I will do ... (write specific actions). ” Studies show that favorable relationships form a meaningful and satisfying life. (I recommend reading beautiful quotes about a happy family life).
- “I will be doing volunteer work for the benefit of others ____ hours a week for the reason I believe.” Step number one: make a call to a charity fund or volunteer organization.
- “Every day I will express gratitude to people for what they have done or said.”
- “Before going to bed, I will remember three things for which I am grateful / grateful.” Numerous studies confirm the effectiveness of feelings of gratitude for a sense of psychological comfort and well-being. Gratitude is the cousin of happiness.
In how to become a happy woman, an important role is played by the need to experience moments of joy, comfort and ease on a daily basis. You can add “pleasure solutions” to your daily self-care practice.
Look for moments of joy in physical activity, your favorite activities, hobbies, or in communicating with other people. It can sometimes be troubling that getting pleasure is too small a goal.
Then remind yourself that without caring for your own pleasant experiences, you will not have energy left for other significant roles in life - to be a parent, husband / wife, professional.
Is it not wonderful to know that you do not need to give up small pleasures in order to become happier?
- “I will go for massage every ____ weeks (manicure, spa, get out for a cup of coffee with my girlfriend).”
- “I will take regular breaks at work and at home.” Breaks may include a walk in nature, a short sleep, meditation.
- “I will devote at least 30 minutes a day to pleasant activities: (enter which one)”
- “I’ll include going to the cinema (visiting the theater, concert, restaurant) every weekend in the usual routine of my life.”
- “I will become healthier due to (playing sports 20-30 minutes a day, diet restrictions, excluding sugar and alcohol, etc.).” Many people are horrified at the mere thought of changing their unhealthy habits, for example, to go on a diet or go in for sports. But getting rid of bad habits will truly make you a happy person.
Pride can be a measure of your level of happiness. Are you interested in how to become a happy and cheerful woman, regardless of the age of 30, 40 or 50 years?
Here are some tips from a psychologist: when you look back at your life or just a day, think and analyze what you said or did that you could be proud of?
- "I will take lessons (write which ones) to increase my competence in this area."
- “I’ll start saving (a certain amount) of money every month in order to protect myself and my family if difficult times come.” Financial security = peace of mind.
- “I will write a letter to my children (grandchildren, spouse, partners), describing my successes and failures, which I am proud of. I will talk about the difficulties that I have overcome and the people who have helped me throughout my life. I’ll describe significant events in my life so that my children and relatives can learn and grow using my experience. ”
- "I will set myself a goal and try to show kindness to at least one person a day."
- “I will contribute to the life of society (my city, country, district, etc.), for example, participating in a community work day, working to preserve the historical heritage, donating to the park’s landscaping or (your options).”
- “I will try to transform negative experience into positive with the help of ... (specific actions or participation in community groups). For example, former alcoholics, drug addicts participate in anonymous support groups for those who struggle with these addictions. For them, this is a good way to not only become, but also to be a happy person.
- "Instead of exchanging gifts for the holidays, I will agree with a friend / girlfriend to contribute this money to donations to charity foundations of orphanages." Many feel warm pride when they receive a thank-you note from a charitable foundation for a donation.
You have probably noticed that it is difficult to distinguish between decisions of pleasure, purpose, and pride. Some solutions include all three components. A daily walk, for example, can be a source of pleasure, health (purpose) and pride.
Solving pleasure for one person can be a goal and pride for another. And of course, achieving any significant goal fills us with pleasure in itself! Your brain will reward you with a surge of dopamine every time you take a step toward the goal.
Fortunately, many “habits of happiness” are easy to create and maintain. Who does not want to be happy?
If you decide to be happy, choose a specific activity, take time for it on your schedule and remove any obstacles. Evaluate your progress periodically to see if your daily life has truly become richer.
You will find that the pursuit of happiness is not a whim, but a goal full of depth and significance. As Aristotle wrote: "Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the beginning and end of human existence."
If you feel like an unhappy person, then very often the problem is in you. The poet Rumi once said: "Your task is not to seek love, but to seek and find all the obstacles that you have built inside yourself against it."
The same can be said about your search for how to become a happy person. Instead of looking for happiness outside, look inside yourself to find everything that prevents you from being happy, and then work on correcting them.
Adapted translation of an article by psychologist Meg Selig
Watch the video how to become a truly happy person.
There is no ideal.
Let's discuss the reasons that can lead to a depressive state. First, the pursuit of an ideal that simply does not exist. For example, often, having found quiet family happiness, many are not satisfied with them and seek to remake their chosen one under someone's carbon copy - discords, quarrels, etc. begin. Learn to value what you have! There are no ideal people, you need to accept your loved one as he is. Of course, in something a person can improve, he should not stand still. But know the measure - the search for the ideal inevitably leads to disappointment. Then the taste for life will disappear.
Appreciate what you have.
Secondly, the cause of joyless everyday life can be satiety from the fact that a person has achieved some success in life and seemed to stop, not knowing where to move on. This is a sign of psychological immaturity, when a person got what he wanted, and lost interest in moving on to new goals. At such a moment, sometimes it’s enough to just take the place of another, less successful person, in order to appreciate what you have.
Fear of the future.
The third reason for a joyless existence is the fear of losing what you have. The instability of our lives often provokes a sense of anxiety. Many people themselves poison their lives with this constant expectation of a negative event (and after all, it may never happen). It turns out that a person is missing out on happy days in vain, not allowing himself to relax and enjoy life! It takes a lot of internal effort to relieve one’s fears. If you are afraid for material values, just insure your home, put money in a bank and sleep peacefully.
Learn to enjoy the little things.
The fourth reason for the sad state is the so-called "delayed" joy. This is when a moment of happiness is delayed “for later”. For example, they praise a person for some kind of accomplishment, and he waves his hand: "That's when I achieve more, then congratulations." And so it turns out that your own pleasure is always postponed. This is a kind of self-deception in which many people do not even give themselves a report. And then they are surprised that they are in a depressed state. In such a situation, it is useful to feel like a child - after all, children never put off joy, but rejoice “here and now”. Therefore, teach yourself to enjoy even the small pleasures of life.
You are lucky…
Finally, the fifth reason for the loss of taste for life is banal envy and greed. It doesn’t matter whether it concerns material or spiritual values, envy is a very bad feeling. Envious, a person deprives himself of the opportunity to enjoy his own achievements in life. The envious person will always lack something for complete happiness - that which he finds with others. In this case, it is important to understand that everyone has their own happiness. You must learn to live your life and be able to enjoy it. Learn to rejoice for others, then you yourself will be happier!