Today will be the first question under the heading "Ambulance" (more about which you can read here).
And we will help Ana, who asks:
And how to please a guy if your girlfriend meets him and you love him?
You know, Anya, I sympathize with you :(. I would not want to be in such a situation ... But, from any situation there are many ways out.
I thought about your question and here are my answers:
- How to like a guy I already wrote in a post “10 ways to please a guy.” These tips can be applied to any guy (not just girlfriends).
- First you need to choose who is more dear to you: a girlfriend or your feelings for a guy. If a girlfriend, then it’s better to try to forget the guy. I understand that it’s easy for me to say, but ... alas, if you want to maintain friendship, you need to kill in yourself all the feelings for her boyfriend.
If you choose a guy, then be prepared for quarrels, clarification of relationships and get a lot of negativity in your direction from a girlfriend (already a former). Will your feelings for this guy pass such a test?
- Ask yourself: do you really love him? Perhaps you just like him or are you impressed by the stories of a friend about him in love with an image that does not exist? A friend can tell how cute, caring, romantic, etc. he is. just to brag about her cool guy. Perhaps, in fact, he is not like that.
I will tell you a secret: I used to really like one guy (though he didn’t meet with my girlfriend). I imagined him so cool, cute, etc. But, when my feelings passed for him, they seemed to open my eyes. In fact, he turned out to be a boor, a rude and generally disgusting person. We girls sometimes love to come up with something that does not exist.
- And think about the fact that if he easily leaves your girlfriend, then maybe he will also leave you easily in the future (I sincerely hope that this does not happen)).
An, I wish you good luck and believe that you will succeed
1. Speak without saying
Even before you start a conversation with a guy, your body will tell him a lot. And the first thing he will notice is how physically attractive you are.
It's not just about beauty. If you are fit and well-built, then you are able to give birth to healthy offspring.
Another important aspect is whether you show interest. Hanging on the neck, of course, is not necessary, but subtly hinting that the man has a chance is very desirable.
This can be shown with two tricks. Firstly, blinking more often, because we naturally begin to do so when we are excited. Secondly, leaning slightly towards the person you are talking to: this is also a non-verbal signal of interest.
2. Be like him
We like people with whom we have a lot in common. Therefore, your task is to find common ground with the guy you like. For example, you can agree on a love of music or, if there are few common interests, try to imbue what he likes.
At the beginning of an acquaintance, the easiest way to show similarity is to use the chameleon effect.
Try to take the same pose as the man, imitate his movements and gestures, use the words and phrases that he includes in his speech.
It is not worth being an exact and synchronous copy: it is too obvious. Try to predict the interlocutor’s movements or generally repeat them after a few seconds.
3. Stay visible
The more often we see a person, the more we like him. This is confirmed by science. In one study, Proximity and Peership: Bases of Balance in Interpersonal Attraction, residents of a student dormitory were asked to evaluate their attitude toward their neighbors. It turned out that boys and girls liked the people who lived next door more: in neighboring rooms or on the next floors.
In ordinary life, this means that if you and the guy visit the same place (university, courses, gym), then you have a better chance of his liking.
If you met by chance, say you would like to continue communication. Just do not chase a person: it will rather scare away than attract.
4. Share a secret
A study of Personalistic Self-Disclosure and Attraction: Basis for Relationship or Scarce Resource, published by the American Sociological Association, proves that revelation signals trust and willingness to establish relationships. If a person does not talk about himself, he broadcasts the exact opposite.
Hence the conclusion: to establish a connection with someone, you need to open up.
This should be done gradually. First, share some superficial information: where are you from, in what family did you grow up, what kind of music do you like to listen to. Then move on to more personal topics: what goals do you set for yourself, what influenced your formation. Just be careful and don’t tell the whole story of life at the first meeting.
Do not try to analyze and judge his social circle
The worst reflection that you can come to is to begin to notice the bad habits of his friends and, on the basis of this, conclude that your partner is also engaged in similar activities, but only secretly from you, or will soon become addicted. Look at your friends - they are all different, too, and each one has something that attracts you, but none of them are perfect, which means you should not demand this from his friends.
Do not overdo it with friends in front of friends.
“Bunny”, “my sweetie”, “my sweet little bear” mixed with minute kisses and hugs - such a melodrama with elements of light eroticism, which unfolds right before your eyes at the moment of a friendly meeting, can make anyone crazy. Leave some of the kisses and toy nicknames for the house, and in the presence of his friends try to behave more restrained and friendly. Everyone already knows that you are with him, so it’s not necessary to confirm this every minute.
Ask his friend or girlfriend to help with a gift choice.
There is no better reason to organize an informal meeting, and besides, best friends really know how to choose good gifts. Use this moment not only to tell about yourself, but also to listen to the interlocutor - it will be useful to implement one of the tips below.
Do not ignore his girlfriends
This is not only impolite, but also dangerous, because female hatred in practice is much more insidious than male. If they are also invited to a meeting, do not ignore them as an empty place or as “someone's companions”, but, on the contrary, come up and speak with them first. By the way, there are many stories about how girls found their best girlfriends precisely through the environment of their partners, and then the friendship continued even after the relationship with the guy came to an end.
Introduce his friend or girlfriend to someone who is interested in him
Listen carefully to what his friends and girlfriends are talking about their work and hobbies, and try to figure out how you could accidentally help them. For example, suddenly one of them is looking for work in a specialty, and you just have friends, or someone needs a lawyer or a massage therapist, and you have trusting contacts.
ELLE GIRL Magazine
Your favorite magazine in a convenient format
Magazine for girls ElleGirl.ru - your guide to the world of fashion, beauty and drive. If you are interested in an up-to-date wardrobe, fashionable make-up, movie news, show business, star life, personal relationships and their prospects - your virtual magazine for girls is always at hand. One click and you will find out how the relations of the characters of the series will develop, how your favorite actors look in real life, where they can be seen in the near future, what youth events are waiting for you, how to prepare for them and much more. To keep abreast of fashion events it is enough to read the most fashionable magazine for girls - ElleGirl.ru.
© 2019 ELLEGirl, Hearst Shkulev Publishing / Hirst Shkulev Publishing LLC. All rights reserved.
Make generous gestures
This works great for a first acquaintance: you notice what people like and try to please them in the details. For example, you know that he plans a bachelor party at home - let him enjoy the company of friends, and instead of calling him every half hour, order two pizzas at home so that the guys do not stay hungry. Do you know that one of his friends has problems at work? Treat the poor fellow with an extra glass at the party, and show your willingness to listen, and convince him that in a difficult situation he can count on the support of both your partner and you.
Offer your help
This advice follows from the previous one with the difference that if you cannot help a person with contacts, you are always in a position to give him advice or offer moral support. This tactic works seamlessly with the best friends of your partner who work in a narrow male team: you can recommend yourself to them not only as a “listener of problems”, but also as an “informant” on work issues through your man. In the female circle, this works flawlessly.
Take the initiative and invite his friends somewhere
Behave with them as if they were your friends. If you are organizing a holiday or planning to leave the city with tents for the May holidays, do not shift the obligation to call friends on it, but write them your own invitations through social networks with a story about what you want to organize, when and where.