Today is Mother's Day, and this is a great occasion to devote a post to our mothers. If you read this, then, before drawing conclusions, be sure to get to the end!
The topic of relations with the mother for each person is one of the central and burning ones. Every self-respecting psychotherapist at some point still comes to her and “heals” the deep spiritual wounds inflicted by the closest being.
How many people - so many mutilated fates. And who is to blame for everything? Mother. Freud would certainly agree with this statement.
I myself sin with such terrible thoughts. I, too, like many, believe that my mother injured me sufficiently to allow me to get angry at this and carry pain and resentment in my soul.
A child is born pure, defenseless and requiring only total self-care and unquestioning and all-consuming love. And, probably, any mother is able to give it to her child. But in order to be so, she herself must be clean and complete. And how often does this happen?
The appearance of the child, especially the first-born, first of all puts the mother in a state of frustration. Often, a young woman who is not yet an adult and inexperienced woman is left alone with a sense of responsibility for her child and guilt before everyone for not knowing what to do with this child. She's not perfect. To her, and before that not simple life, full of experience and anxiety, now the factor of the presence of an eternally hungry, crying, sick and not sleeping creature next to it is now added. She loves her sequel to madness, but does not know what to do with it. The poor woman is torn to pieces: her husband (if he still exists), the demands of others, her own ambitions, her mother ... I think many who have gone through this themselves understand what I'm talking about.
Already an adult daughter or son can remember all the horrors of her childhood: how my mother screamed at him, forbade walking for a long time, led any inappropriate lifestyle, did not pay attention ... Anything! It can be very painful to realize. Every time we think about it, we regress to this little crying defenseless creature.
But now I want to turn the reader’s gaze to the other side. Let's try to look at all these horrors from a different perspective.
Mom all this time, no matter what, loved her child more than anything. She guarded him, tried to make him happy. And now mom (if she is still alive) continues to do the same.
Everyone has the right to choose: love or hate. To hold a grudge in the heart or try to accept reality as it really is. Before you once again blame your mother that she was too strict or indifferent to you, think about how much she loved you. And how hard it was for her to show this love correctly. I know that there are mothers of murderers, psychopaths, lunatics, drug addicts ... There are, but can you say this about your mother?
Can you blame your mom for not taking care of you? What would happen to you if it hadn’t existed at all. Now mom is not twenty. It is hard and even more troubled. Now she really needs the care of her children, their love and understanding, and maybe forgiveness.
I know that my mother is not perfect, and she never was, and never will be. I know that she made many mistakes, and it doesn’t matter to me why. I know that she loved me and loves me now. Just as I love my children. I also make mistakes. I also scream, leave them unattended, punish and do not hear. And, probably, as adults, they will find something to remember.
But now I have become an adult. I am able to work on my fears and anxieties. I’m no longer fifteen, much less five. I have the right to manage my life and my thoughts. And I choose - not to remember the bad, but to create the good. I love my mom and love my children.
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You will need:
- bouquet of flowers.
1. Start mom’s day with kind words. Smile at her in the morning and tell her that she is your dearest person in the world. Do not forget to say that she looks good today and that time is not dominant over her, making her only nicer over the years. Ask your mom about her well-being and whether she needs your help in something. Your words of warmth, care and understanding are some of the most important words for your mother.
2. Surprise your mother with cleanliness in the house. Put your house in order, do a thorough cleaning and create comfort. A clean and tidy house, thanks to your efforts, will be able to cheer up your mom and at the same time distract you from everyday worries. Also, a good lunch for your mother will be a delicious lunch or dinner, which you personally prepare for her.
3. Refine your mother’s tastes to choose a small present for her. A surprise is not necessary to coincide with any holiday or event, but you can just make a gift without dates and without an official reason for this. As an option, give your mother a fresh bouquet of flowers in the morning, which could be a pleasant surprise for her.
4. Choose a gift for mom, depending on her taste preferences. Remember that your mother, first of all a woman who always wants to look attractive and charming, so you can opt for gifts such as fashionable clothes, shoes, a bag, cosmetics, perfumes, jewelry or skin care products. Practical mothers who value coziness and comfort in the house can be given: kitchen accessories, household appliances or a stylish piece of furniture. A good gift for any mother will also be what you have done yourself, even if it will be a real trinket.
5. Maintain a good mood mom constantly. Do not upset or upset her. Also try to spend as much free time with her as possible. Remember that mom gave you the most precious thing you have - your life.